


21 Questions

by kawada_s



Category: Battle Royale - All Media Types
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-04-12
Updated: 2017-04-12
Packaged: 2018-10-18 01:17:04
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 13,711
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10606287
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kawada_s/pseuds/kawada_s
Summary: After tensions break out in Class 3-B that are impossible to ignore, Mr. Hayashida takes it upon himself to try and create class unity. He randomly pairs up the class, asks the pairs to ask the other twelve questions and answer twelve in return, then write an essay about what they learned about one another. While everyone hates the assignment at first, it leads to some unlikely friendships... and relationships, that may help some people start making some steps in a new direction. Modern AU / No-Program. Each chapter focuses on a new pair.





	

21 Questions

Chapter One: Mitsuko & Noriko

By the time Mr. Hayashida had finished explaining the assignment to the class, Mitsuko Souma had already made up her mind – it was absolutely stupid. She sat at her desk in the classroom that had seemed to shrink in size in the past few minutes, clicking her pen obnoxiously as she watched the boys in her class line up to get a partner for the assignment, growing angrier every time one of them walked off with their slip of paper, looking even more pissed off than she was. The boys had almost all received a partner now, meaning her time was coming, but she already knew she was going to hate whoever she was paired with – not that she’d be doing any of the work. She’d made up her find about that already as well.

 _Seriously, what the fuck does he think he’s going to achieve here? What does he think it’ll fix?_ She thought bitterly to herself as Kyoichi Motobuchi passed her, not bothering to hide his look of disgust as he stared down at his slip of paper. Even the kid who seemed to absolutely adore schoolwork thought this assignment was complete shit. It was his fault, though. Well, technically not Kyoichi’s fault entirely, but he was part of the problem. It was pretty much the whole class’s fault that they had been given the assignment.

It had started between a group of girls – she couldn’t remember who exactly, and she didn’t really care either – and to try and solve their problem, they had asked for help from someone else in their class. This had only ended up making the issue worse, and somehow, it had ended up with almost the entire class fighting. Surprisingly, the Souma gang had stayed out of the whole debacle, but that didn’t make them exempt from the ‘punishment.’ Mr. Hayashida stated that they all had things to learn.

That was how she had ended up here, now in line with the other girls in her class, waiting to see what the next few weeks would end up holding for her. Whatever classmate’s name was pulled out of the hat in the teacher’s hand would be her assigned partner, who she would be expected to ask twelve questions to and answer twelve in return, then write an essay about what she’s learned about the other - not that she was going to do it. She barely ever did her schoolwork on a normal day, let alone when the assignment was absolute bullshit.

“Souma,” Mr. Hayashida greeted her, reaching into the hat. He gave her a smile, a nervous one, as to be expected – any teacher in the school with a brain was afraid of her. He dug around in the hat for so long that she felt like yelling at him to just get on with it, but he produced a slip of paper before she got the chance. “Nakagawa.”

“Which one?” Mitsuko frowned, not bothering to hide her rudeness. While both Noriko Nakagawa and Yuka Nakagawa were complete losers that she wouldn’t want to be seen with unless she was making fun of them, they would most likely be easy to push around.

“O-oh, I forgot about that,” Mr. Hayashida laughed nervously, looking down at the slip of paper again, “Noriko. Noriko Nakagawa.”

Mitsuko gave him a small nod, just about snatching the paper out of his hand as she left the line. Noriko did the same, and for a brief moment, their eyes met as they returned to their desks. At the site of Noriko looking somewhat afraid – but only for a moment, before the ever so perfect girl put herself back together – Mitsuko almost laughed.

She decided it could be worse, though. Noriko Nakagawa was the exact person who would enjoy this kind of assignment – she was bland, had nothing else better to do with her lame existence, and always seemed to be pushing for everyone in the class to get along. She’d probably be the only person in class to even _delight_ in doing it. Because of this, Mitsuko figured if anyone would be happy to take all the workload, it would be Noriko for sure. She could just bullshit answers for Mitsuko – the girl figured there’d be enough rumours going around about her to supply answers to twelve questions.

Mitsuko’s annoyance faded now that she had figured out the perfect plan, and she leaned back in her seat, watching the rest of the girls receive their partners, most of them looking either disappointed or extremely irritated. This made Mitsuko smirk. She wasn’t going to play Mr. Hayashida’s stupid game – if the other fools in their class were going to, that was their problem. She had the _right_ idea.

What she wasn’t expecting, however, was to meet Noriko’s eyes for a moment when she slightly turned her head. She wasn’t expecting her to give her a small wave either. Despite the fact that it was so easy to ignore, the gesture still stayed with her. It was a sign. A sign that Noriko Nakagawa, as scared of her as she may be, was interested for some reason in doing the assignment with her, and most likely was not going to give up on her easily.

\---

As soon as school was over for the day, Mitsuko put her quickly thought up plan into action – get out of the building and off school grounds as fast as possible. It was the dumbest thing ever, she knew, wanting to get away from _Noriko Nakagawa_ of all people – who, on a normal day, should be the one trying to be staying out of _her_ way – but Hirono and Yoshimi didn’t need to know this. She walked along beside the two of them, face blank, just listening as they continued to talk about what Mitsuko was so desperate to forget about – the assignment.

“So, who did you end up getting?” Hirono asked Yoshimi, having run out of ways to describe how much the assignment sucked.

“I got Tsukioka. He seems kind of cool, so I don’t mind. We’re gonna go get coffee and see if there’s any baristas worth flirting with,” Yoshimi responded, sounding somewhat excited about the assignment. Mitsuko would even go as far as to say she hadn’t looked this optimistic since her rough breakup with Yoji about a month ago. “Who did you get?”

“Tanizawa. She’s the least awful out of her whole group. We’re meeting up after she’s done with volleyball practice this afternoon,” Hirono explained. Mitsuko’s eyes widened at the thought of Hirono _actually taking on the assignment,_ especially on the first day they’d been given it, and she couldn’t help but break her silence to comment.

“You mean you’re actually _doing_ that dumbass assignment?” Mitsuko said, and the two girls looked over at her, truthfully having forgotten she had been there for a while now. Hirono looked a little defensive for a moment, but she quickly regained her composure, a small detail Mitsuko took note of to comment on later.

“Only because my folks will be on my back-“ Hirono began, but Mitsuko laughed at her and cut her off as soon as she could. The spiky haired girl shot her a glare that would kill.

“We all know you don’t give a single fuck about what your parents think,” Mitsuko rolled her eyes. “You’re doing this for some other reason, and I want to figure it-“

“Let’s not focus on that now,” Yoshimi cut in, wanting to stop any signs of a potential fight between the girls before it got to a point where she couldn’t diffuse it, “what I wanna know is who you got, Mitsuko. C’mon, _spill.”_

“Yeah, Mitsuko,” Hirono smirked, deciding it would be better than to jump on this train of thought than risk Mitsuko asking more questions just so she could insult her. At the same time, she could make Mitsuko feel uncomfortable this time as well. “Who did you get? Whoever it is, I’m surprised you haven’t bitched about them yet.”

“Oh, shut up,” Mitsuko snapped. “Just Nakagawa. The _bitch.”_

“I don’t really think that’s fair, Mitsuko,” Yoshimi frowned, unable to understand why her two companions were now looking at her as if she had grown an extra set of limbs, “I mean, Yuka really isn’t that bad.”

At what Mitsuko perceived as her rampant stupidity, she couldn’t help but just freeze for a minute, just staring at her blankly. Finally, she managed to will herself to speak again.

“Yoshimi, are you really that fucking dense?” Mitsuko snapped at her, her eyes cold. It was Yoshimi’s turn to stare now, giving Mitsuko a look as if _she_ was the one who had grown an extra set of limbs, wondering what she had done wrong.

“Well then, tell me,” Yoshimi began, trying to act is if the harsh words thrown at her by her so-called friend hadn’t hurt her feelings, “why don’t you like her?”

“I’m talking about NORIKO,” Mitsuko clarified, her voice echoing through the near empty halls. Yoshimi nodded at her hurriedly, hoping she wouldn’t raise her voice again.

That seemed to satisfy Mitsuko, to the relief of Yoshimi, and the three started to walk again. They were almost out of the building when a soft voice filled their ears, in perfect contrast to Mitsuko’s yelling only about a minute prior.

“Y-you were talking about me?”

The three turned around to see Noriko Nakagawa standing there, cheeks a bright shade of pink. Other than that, however, nothing about her was out of order, no hair out of place. Her uniform was absolutely perfect, nothing rumpled or stained, the creases so sharp you could just about cut yourself on them. That detail made Mitsuko’s mind wander for a moment – did Noriko had to iron her uniform herself, or did she have a mother who would do it for her, meticulously examining the creases in the fabric to make sure they were in just the right places before carefully hanging up her uniform in the closet?

Thinking of that only made her hate her more.

“What the fuck do _you_ want?” Mitsuko snapped at her, watching as Noriko flinched. A smirk crossed her lips when the girl stepped back, gently securing a hair that had fallen out of place behind her ear. For a minute or so, she seemed to think hard about what she could possibly say that wouldn’t potentially annoy her.

“I just wanted to talk to you about the assignment before you go,” Noriko said, trying to keep herself sounding confident, but she couldn’t look her in the eye, no matter how hard she tried. Hopefully, she’d be able to manage that in the next few weeks. Mitsuko would probably be nicer when they were out of school, right? “I was thinking, we can either go to the library or my house-“

“No need,” Mitsuko cut her off before she could give her a headache, “I’m not doing the assignment. End of story.”

“What do you mean you aren’t doing it?” Noriko asked her, her words surprising Mitsuko. She didn’t think someone like _Noriko Nakagawa_ would question her like that. “I can’t do it all on my own. I have to ask you questions, for starters.”

“Make them up, and bullshit some answers. There’s enough material out there if you listen closely to people’s conversations and read what’s on the walls in the girl’s bathroom. Just use that,” Mitsuko said, crossing her arms. Her patience was rapidly starting to fade, not that she had much of it in the first place. Why couldn’t she just _go away?_

“I’m not one to believe in rumours,” Noriko said, voice still quiet. Mitsuko looked around for a moment, seeing that Hirono and Yoshimi had left. She made a mental note to yell at them later for just deserting her like that, especially in this situation.

“It’s good enough for everyone else, Nakagawa,” Mitsuko said. Noriko looked at her, and for a split second, was able to meet her eye. In that moment, she swore she saw a tinge of sadness in her eyes, but she told herself that she must have imagined it. Mitsuko would never let something slip like that, especially not around a person she disliked.

“Please, Souma,” Noriko even seemed to look a little desperate, “do the assignment with me? Please?”

“No,” Mitsuko said, and shoved past her before Noriko could get another word in. She’d won that one, just as she had expected. Hopefully, the shove would be enough to keep her away for good, but somewhere, deep down, she knew that Noriko may not give up on her that easily.

\---

The next day, Mitsuko left school alone. Hirono and Yoshimi had departed with their partners for the assignment, seemingly having gotten along well with them yesterday, not that she’d know. They hadn’t talked to her about the assignment all day, finally having gotten the message that it was the last thing she wanted to talk about. Still, she was kind of curious about how it was going for the two of them. She still wanted to know why Hirono seemed somewhat _interested_ in the assignment, but she realised she couldn’t force the answers out of her. She wouldn’t really want her asking about how the assignment with Noriko was going.

Right. The assignment with Noriko. She would have found it easy to forget about if Noriko hadn’t seemed to be looking over at her every time she accidentally glanced her way, as if to remind her, ‘I haven’t forgotten about you, you know.’ No matter how many times Mitsuko glared back at her, she still kept looking at her, to the point where she wanted to get up and yell at her in the middle of class to leave her the fuck alone.

Just like yesterday, she tried to leave the school as fast as possible, but she didn’t feel any less stupid about wanting to get away from Noriko. She tried to tell herself it was perfectly fine to want to get away from someone who irritated her – she wasn’t _hiding_ – but she still felt quite weak as she hurried down the halls, almost knocking several people to the ground as she shoved past them. They didn’t shout out at her, whoever they were. Everyone - even the little nobodies in seventh grade - knew to leave her be.

Unfortunately, as she reached the front gate, about to breathe a sigh of relief and pull out a cigarette, she saw her. Noriko leaned against the gate, looking down at her watch for a moment, before meeting her eyes. The smallest hint of a smile filled her lips.

 _Snide little bitch,_ Mitsuko thought angrily, _didn’t I make the message clear enough to her yesterday?_

“Hello, Souma,” Noriko said quietly, staring down at the ground. “I was hoping I’d catch you before I left.”

“Why can’t you just leave me _alone?_ ” Mitsuko asked her, clenching her fist tightly. “I’m not doing the damn assignment, okay? I don’t know why you’re so fucking desperate to get a good grade for this – it doesn’t even count for anything.”

“It’s not about the grade,” Noriko said, voice strong. Her hair wasn’t perfect today, messed up by the breeze chilling their bones, but she had made no move to fix it. “I’m not afraid of you, Souma. It would be cool to get to know you, that’s all. My friends have been pleasantly surprised by their partners. Why not give it a try?”

“Get to know me?” Mitsuko laughed. “Nakagawa, I may be a pretty girl, but that doesn’t make me a stupid one. I know what ‘getting to know you’ means when it comes out of a girl’s mouth – they want to get in my business, where they don’t fucking belong. You don’t know me, you aren’t entitled to know a thing about me, and if you know what’s best for yourself, you’ll get out of my damn face and pretend this assignment never existed.”

Noriko was quiet after that, but she didn’t move. She just stood there, the small smile fading off her face, more of her dark hair falling in her face. Again, she did not bother to reach up to fix it. Mitsuko was sure by this point that she had given up, but when she took a step forward to go leave, Noriko finally spoke again. It was one word, but it still stuck with her, and more than anything, it completely surprised her.

“No.”

That word should have made Mitsuko angrier. She should have yelled at her and tore her down until she finally left in tears, as everyone would expect her to do, or even as she would on a really bad day, grab her, slam her against the fence, to make sure she completely forgot about the assignment, but she did not. Instead, a smirk appeared on her lips, them developing a mind of their own in that moment. She was actually quite… _impressed._ No one stood up to Mitsuko Souma – no teachers, no students, not even the members of her own gang, if they wanted to live, and she expected it to remain that way. Who knew that Noriko Nakagawa would be the exception?

“What will it take to shut you up?” Mitsuko asked her. Noriko looked up at her, her eyes lighting up a little, but she didn’t look smug at all. Instead, she stepped forward, uncrossed her arms, and held out a hand to her.

“Just one afternoon, okay? Just one. If you hate it, we never have to do it again. Just give me one afternoon of your time, that’s all I ask,” Noriko said, looking over at her, studying her face intently, looking for any sign of change. After what seemed like an eternity, Mitsuko gave her a small nod, but did not take her hand. Sheepishly, she returned her hand to her side.

“Fine, but just one,” Mitsuko responded, confirming her nod had meant something.

To Mitsuko’s relief, Noriko did not let out a whoop of delight or rub it in her face or even smile. She just gave her a nod, and began to walk, her following along. It made her feel ridiculous, trailing along behind Noriko, but she knew there was nothing she could do about it – let her decide where to go, as after all, she was the one interested in the assignment. She grabbed a piece of gum from her bag, unwrapping it and popping it in her mouth as they went along, wanting something to do on the way to wherever they were doing. Every now and then, she smacked it obnoxiously, wondering if she would get a rise out of her as childish as it was, but Noriko did not lose it at her once.

Noriko did not say anything at all, actually, which again surprised her. It was better than her trying to pathetically keep a conversation going though, she decided. That would be like pulling teeth.

When they finally stopped, Mitsuko spat her gum out on the grass, and then went to catch up with Noriko, realising when she saw her taking out some keys that they were at her house. It was the exact house that Mitsuko had pictured her having – not that she would ever admit to thinking about that out loud – it situated in a rather nice part of town, a nice garden out front, the lawn neat, and overall, looking rather welcoming. It was similar to the houses she used to wish she lived in as a child.

As she shut the door behind her on the way in, she wondered for a minute if Noriko’s room was painted pink, and if she had that pink bed she’d cut out pictures of from the catalogues that looked like a castle. She’d stick the pictures on her walls and hope that one day, it would be hers. She got rid of them all when she decided there were bigger things in the world to want – like the want to feel nothing ever again.

It was best not to think about pink rooms and beds that looked like castles. They were stupid, and from another lifetime. She hadn’t even thought about them in years until she stepped through the door. Instead, she tried to find something else to focus on, quickly finding it in the scent of freshly baked cookies.

“I’m home, mom,” Noriko called out as she lead Mitsuko into the kitchen, placing her bag down on one of the dining chairs.

“Hello!” A woman who looked like Noriko, only more grown up, hair longer, and one of her cheeks covered in flour called out to her. When she saw Mitsuko there, a warm smile filled her face,  and she immediately sprang into action. “You must be one of Noriko’s school friends. I don’t think I’ve seen you before, but the more the merrier – make yourself at home. And here, take a cookie.”

Before she really knew what was happening, a plate of chocolate chip cookies were thrust in her face. Her words stuck in her throat all of a sudden, she took a biscuit, and let Noriko do all the talking. It was hard to focus on anything that wasn’t the amazing taste, the ratio of chocolate to cookie perfect, but she managed to catch Noriko tell her mother they were working a project, and yes, Mitsuko was a classmate. She neither confirmed or denied their friendship, which both surprised and confused Mitsuko at the same time. Before Noriko took her upstairs, she took another cookie, not caring if her mother thought she was greedy. She _did_ say make yourself at home, right? And since she wasn’t going to come back, she had to enjoy the cookies while she could.

She took a bite of the cookie as she followed Noriko down the hallway, keeping her eyes on the ground as they went along. She didn’t want to be tempted to look around as they walked and take her surroundings in, knowing she’d probably be learning enough about Noriko in this afternoon once they got into the assignment. She wouldn’t admit it either, but she didn’t want to get jealous of her either. Noriko would have good memories of her good family who loved her and cared about her and would never hurt her at all, and the thought of becoming jealous of her made her feel sick. She was fine. She’d accepted things the way they were, and she didn’t want an idiot like Noriko suddenly making her jealous about these things.

“Here we are,” Noriko mumbled, the creaking of her bedroom door as she opened it capturing Mitsuko’s attention. She looked up at it slowly and realised it was just what she expected it to be – a pale shade of pink, the shade that would be considered every little girl’s dream at some point probably. No castle bed, though. Maybe when she was younger…

The fact Mitsuko was in her room had set Noriko off-guard a bit, but it was better than keeping them downstairs with her mother, who would probably ask a lot of questions herself and make the afternoon for Mitsuko even worse. This still didn’t mean that she was still nervous letting her in, where all the things that embodied _her_ were, photographs stuck on her mirror and poems strewn across her wall. To her relief, Mitsuko didn’t seem interested in prying. Instead, she just slumped down on Noriko’s bed, dropping her bag on the ground, staring down at the pink and white striped blanket instead of at her belongings.

Noriko took a seat beside her, pulling out her notebook and grabbing a pen, trying to figure out what she could start with. She began to scribble something down, but quickly drew an ugly black line through it instead, deciding that Mitsuko would probably think that question was the dumbest thing ever. She preceded to draw lines through two other questions she thought of, and decided at that point to just close the book before the entire page was covered in black lines. The silence in the room was suffocating, but she had no idea what to say.

“So, are you gonna ask me anything or what?” Mitsuko eventually asked her. “If I wanted to sit in silence all afternoon, I’d have just gone home.”

“Oh, uh, sorry,” Noriko mumbled, letting out a nervous laugh. She tried to think of something, anything to say, and eventually decided to go with the first thing that came to mind. “So… um… what’s your favourite type of cake?”

Mitsuko looked at her for a moment as if she were crazy, and then let out a laugh.

“What type of question is _that,_ Nakagawa?” Mitsuko said, but decided to answer anyway. The question could be worse, after all. “Uh… chocolate, I guess. I can’t remember the last time I had cake.”

She half expected Noriko to open her notebook again and start taking notes, but she just looked at her and nodded. When the silence returned, she realised it was now her turn to ask a question, her turn for her mind to become blank. She couldn’t think of anything to ask that wasn’t either stupid, or could be potentially interpreted as being somewhat interested in Noriko’s life. Much to her relief, Noriko spoke again before the silence could become rather awkward yet again.

“Do you want me to ask another?” Noriko looked at her. “I know it’s hard to think of questions.”

“Sure,” Mitsuko shrugged, trying to stop herself from breathing a sigh of relief.

As Noriko quickly tried to figure out the right question to ask, she let her eyes wander around her room, even though she’d promised herself she wouldn’t, just to look for inspiration. Her room was much nicer than her own, she observed, taking in the laptop on her study desk, the piles of books on her shelves, and how neat she kept everything. What stuck with her the most, though, were all the poems on the wall. She wondered how many of them were ones Noriko had read out in class, that she had made fun of under her breath with Hirono, not bothering to take in the true meanings of the words. She’d never realised how many she’d written before – she obviously wasn’t just doing them as part of classwork.

“Hmm,” Noriko looked over at her. “My mother always told me that you can learn a lot about someone by what their favourite childhood memory is. So... um… what’s yours?”

Taken by surprise, Mitsuko tore her eyes away from the poems on the wall. Noriko noticed something change in her expression, but she couldn’t exactly read it, her managing to mask it as soon as she caught herself. Was it sadness, or maybe anger? She could only wonder until she gave her a response.

“I don’t have one,” Mitsuko said to her, voice serious though almost a whisper. It was true, she tried to remind herself. There may have been something deep down that she could remember, that may have made her smile at the time, but it didn’t matter anymore. The happiness did not last, and remembering it just made her think of other things, when the happiness stopped, what it lead to, and how much she wanted to avoid thinking about it. It was just best to half-lie.

“Oh, okay,” Noriko mumbled. She knew she couldn’t force her to tell her anything, and the last thing she wanted to do was push her and make her angry. With the way something in her face had changed as soon as she asked the question, she decided she would stay away from that topic. “So… question three-“ 

“Let me ask this time,” Mitsuko cut in, Noriko’s eyes widening. Mitsuko herself couldn’t believe it. She willed herself to stuff all the words back in her mouth, to just stop there and forget she never decided to take the initiative and ask, but she kept on talking. “Your poems. How many have you written?”

“My poems?” Noriko raised an eyebrow, so sure that when Mitsuko had wanted to ask her a question, she would have been rather rude to her. She began to wonder if it was all a trick, as Mitsuko had never been interested in her poetry, but decided to give her the benefit of the doubt. Mitsuko wouldn’t go to all his effort to trick her. “I’m honestly not sure how many… probably a lot, I guess. I’ve been writing poetry since I was about twelve.”

“Cool, I guess,” Mitsuko shrugged, not sure how she could be so dedicated to something that probably wouldn’t even matter to her in the future. She told herself that she _would not_ ask any more questions and she definitely _would not_ try and read one of her poems as she left the room, hating herself for getting herself interested.

“Yeah,” Noriko mumbled. She was usually good with talking to people and and keeping conversations going, but with Mitsuko, it seemed absolutely impossible. She tried desperately to think of a new question to ask, it seeming as if Mitsuko was done now with asking questions. One finally came to her, and before she could think it over, she spoke. “What do you want to do in the future?”

As she had with her first question, Mitsuko let out a laugh, but Noriko could recognise that she wasn’t using it to laugh at _her_ , really. She realised at the same time that when Mitsuko wasn’t using her laugh to tear down others, it was rather nice.

“What I want to do in the future, Nakagawa?” Mitsuko laughed again. “I don’t fucking know. I don’t even know what I’m going to end up doing tomorrow.”

“Well, you could come over again and work on the assignment,” Noriko offered, immediately regretting her words once they’d left her lips. She’d blown it now. Just when it had stopped being a complete mess – kind of awkward yes, but not a mess – she had to go and ruin it.

For a second, Mitsuko looked up at the ceiling. _Don’t say it,_ she told herself sharply, _don’t fucking say it. Don’t you dare._

“Fine. Not like I have anything better to do,” Mitsuko said, brushing off her panic inside with a casual shrug, and like that, it was settled.

\---

The next day was quite different, despite things staying the same at school for the most part. Mitsuko went off with Hirono and Yoshimi, Hirono remaining rather quiet about how her own assignment with Haruka was going, which continued to make Mitsuko curious. She remained quiet, however, and let Yoshimi talk and talk and talk, it not annoying her as much as it usually did. It was needed to feel like silence. When Noriko walked by them, she didn’t call something nasty out to her like she may have in the past, but instead looked away, deciding to pretend she was invisible instead.

Noriko hadn’t seemed to pay attention to that, however, of if it had bothered her, she was doing a rather good job of pretending it wasn’t. She’d brought up cookies for them two of them again and had tried her hardest again to make Mitsuko feel welcome, but she still felt out of place. As she bit into a cookie, taking a seat on the floor, she tried to shrug off the feelings, attempting to figure out something to say.

“So, your poems,” Mitsuko began, deciding to stay with that as her topic. Poetry was safe – the perfect in-between. It made Noriko feel as if she actually wanted to get to know her, while Mitsuko herself knew it would most likely keep them distanced enough. “How do you not run out of things to say?”

“I guess I just keep finding stuff to write about,” Noriko replied. At first, she thought of asking her why she was so interested in her poems, but she didn’t want to sound rude. “I take inspiration from everyday things – the weather, stuff that happens at school, things my friends say, you know… stuff like that.”

Noriko looked down at the floor, gently brushing cookie crumbs off her skirt, caught off-guard again. She usually didn’t have to talk about her poetry like this, and it was especially strange for Mitsuko of all people to be the one asking the questions about it. Poetry was her thing, her escape, that other people got a little glimpse into when she was asked to read her work out in Japanese class, but now, it was all out in the open for someone who was a pretty much stranger to see. Getting a glimpse of what her poetry ‘collection’ of sorts looked like through the eyes of someone else made her realise she truly had written a considerable amount over the years.

“That’s cool… you know, I guess,” Mitsuko shrugged, trying to play off her interest as nothing. “I always thought poetry was boring as fuck.”

Noriko looked over at her for a moment, and a small smile filled her face. It was stupid of her, so utterly stupid of her, to think Mitsuko could possibly have a genuine interest in her poetry – or poetry in general, but she couldn’t stop herself from getting somewhat excited. She hadn’t been able to share her love of poetry with any of her peers, save for maybe Shuya Nanahara, but she doubted that it would count. She got up slowly and went over to her bookshelf, taking a few minutes to look through the titles, looking for something kind of thin, that if Mitsuko ruined, whether on purpose or by accident, wouldn’t be hard to replace. After a few minutes, she finally found something that she figured was as close to perfect as she could get.

“Poetry doesn’t always have to be boring,” Noriko smiled at her, looking down at the book in her hand. “This is something I think you might like. I read it ages ago, and I really liked it.”

She held the book out to Mitsuko, half-expecting her to tell her where she should shove her book, but without a word, she accepted it and carefully put it in her bag. It was definitely strange, but quite welcomed. Hopefully, Mitsuko would like it, or at the very least, would give it back unscathed.

\---

“What are you so focused on?”

Hirono’s voice erupted from behind Mitsuko, throwing her back into reality. Shooting her a glare, she hoped it would buy her time while she tried to get rid of the book Noriko had given her yesterday. It was probably the first time she had ever read a book since her early childhood that wasn’t for school – and even then, she usually didn’t bother. She was almost done, and secretly, she wanted to ask Noriko for another. The whole pretending to be interested thing had failed miserably as now, she was getting a genuine interest in poetry. That didn’t mean she was going to go out and start writing poetry – that would be far too embarrassing – but she’d be willing to read some, as long as it could be kept a secret between her and Noriko. She could only imagine what Hirono and Yoshimi, or even some of their other classmates, would say if they saw her _reading poetry._

“None of your fucking business,” Mitsuko snapped at her, the book almost in her bag. It would have faded out of sight a lot quicker if she wasn’t trying to be so careful. The thought of giving Noriko’s book back ruined, especially when she had liked it so much, just seemed like an unnecessary, rather rude thing to do.  Unfortunately, because she was trying to take care, Hirono saw it, and grabbed her wrist to try and get a better look at it.

“Wait… you’re _reading a book_?!” Hirono started to laugh. “I never thought I’d see the day that you would read. Hm, what is the ‘riveting’ piece of literature that has caught your attention?  Let me see-“

“FUCK. OFF,” Mitsuko yelled, getting out of her grip. She put the book in her bag quickly, hoping she hadn’t dented it, also hoping she hadn’t seen the title. “That’s rather rich coming from you, Hirono, seeing as the only thing you read is the brand on cigarette cartons. Sometimes, I don’t even think you read those.”

Hirono clenched her fists, and tried several times to think of a rebuttal, ending up stuttering and stammering, waving her fists around like an idiot. Mitsuko laughed at the sight, watching as her face went a shade of crimson as Haruka arrived on the scene, asking her if she was ready to go. Quickly, Hirono walked off with her, only making her more embarrassed, and again, Mitsuko couldn’t stop laughing. After she composed herself enough to get back into the book, it didn’t take long for Noriko to arrive on the scene.

“I take it you like the book?” Noriko said, eyes widening for a moment. She had expected Mitsuko to forget about the book, but she was just about finished. Mitsuko quickly shut the book, shrugged, and Noriko couldn’t help but let out a quiet laugh.

“It was okay, I guess – just didn’t have anything else to do while I waited,” Mitsuko said, but Noriko could see right through her. Before she had a chance to respond, she decided to change the subject. “So… did you get what you wanted?”

“Yeah,” Noriko said, holding up the comic book for a moment before placing it gently in her bag. She wanted to stop at the store before they went to her house, as her brother was sick and she thought maybe a comic book would cheer him up. Mitsuko had decided to wait for her around the corner, not potentially wanting to bump into anyone from school, such as Keita Iijima or Yuichiro Takiguchi. She could only imagine what they’d say if they saw her in a place like _that._ Still, she had to admit that it was thoughtful of her to think of her brother. It was such an undoubtedly _Noriko_ thing to do.

The walk to Noriko’s house was not as awkward as it had been the first day – nowhere near it. The two made some conversation instead of being enveloped by silence, the subject always coming back to Mitsuko and her thoughts on the poetry book. In the end, just as they reached her house, she decided to just give in and tell her she was enjoying it. It was just Noriko. She wasn’t a gossip or anything. It was one of the only things she had actually liked about Noriko _before_ they started the assignment – she could shut up.

As she had the previous day and the day before that, Noriko’s mother greeted the two, and shoved baked goods in their faces – brownies, this time. Mitsuko grabbed one carefully and ate it as they walked down the hallway, careful not to make a mess, watching as Noriko stopped at her brother’s room. Mitsuko looked in briefly, it looking like a typical nine year old boy’s room – bright, posters of comic book characters on the walls, toys everywhere – and ultimately decided to stay outside. What would she even say to the kid?

“I got something for you,” she heard Noriko say playfully. She heard the rustling of the comic book as she got it out of her bag, and Mitsuko smiled softly. For a minute, she let her mind wandering, her even thinking for a minute, ‘ _I wish someone thought of me like that,’_ before pulling herself back to reality. Wishes didn’t mean anything. They were stupid and for children who didn’t know any better.

“Thank you, Noriko!” her brother exclaimed, gently taking the comic book from her. “Do you know if dad is coming home tonight? We haven’t seen him in forever…”

“I don’t think he is, Yugo. Maybe tomorrow, though. You know how he likes to surprise us,” Noriko said, and Mitsuko immediately recognised her tone. It was that strained tone, just calm enough to sound believable on the surface, used when trying to pretend everything is absolutely fine, but really if you listened, you could really tell it wasn’t.

As she waited for Noriko to come out, thoughts swirled around in Mitsuko’s head. How had she never noticed before that Noriko’s dad never seemed to be around? She probably hadn’t cared enough. At first she felt slightly bitter – at least Noriko still _had_ a father – but it quickly melted away. What good was it having a father if he was never around? He may as well not exist at all. Curiosity swirled around in her mind and panic began to set in – she wasn’t _meant_ to be interested in Noriko’s life, but she couldn’t do anything now, especially because Noriko was right there again. Quietly, she followed her up to her room, telling herself not to say anything.

“Well, now we can start,” Noriko said quietly as she slumped down on her bed, brushing non-existent crumbs off her uniform just for something to do. Mitsuko nodded, and took a seat next to her on the bed. “So… would you like to ask a question first, or would you like me to?”

Mitsuko looked at her for a moment, and blurted out what was exactly on her mind.

“Why isn’t your dad around?” Immediately, she regretted it, watching as Noriko’s eyes filled with recognition, her face falling.

“Oh, you heard,” Noriko looked down, letting her hair fall in her face. Mitsuko was tempted to reach out and brush her hair out of the way, but Noriko had gotten up before she could try. She went to the door, seemed to listen for a moment, only returning to the bed when she was sure her mother was focused on the radio and wouldn’t be making any visits.

“You don’t have to say anything,” Mitsuko said. If she pushed, she knew she’d just be a hypocrite. There were definitely a lot of things she didn’t want to share.

“It’s okay,” Noriko shrugged, pasting a small smile on her face, but pain was obvious in her eyes. “Work, mainly. He always seems to be going on a trip, or having one planned for him. I know that’s not the only reason he’s away, though. There’s… _others_. I only know because I happened to see things at the wrong time, be in the wrong place. My mom doesn’t know. I don’t want to be the one to tell her.”

Mitsuko nodded, trying to figure out what to say, it not something she was able to relate to. Her first reaction was anger – _Noriko’s_ father should be the one that’s gone, but she decided to keep those words to herself. It wasn’t going to help.

“I… I’ll leave that out of the essay. Just so you know,” Mitsuko said, immediately cursing herself for being so awkward. It was obvious that this was her brain’s way of telling her that asking Noriko more questions about her life would only end in further embarrassment. It was best to go back to poetry – the reasonably safe subject.

Noriko looked at her, then down at her notebook, it coming back to her that it was her turn to ask a question. She’d never told anyone about the situation with her father before, and telling someone she knew probably wouldn’t care was surprisingly relieving. There was no chance of it coming back to her mother, and at the same time, a small portion of the weight lifted off her shoulder. Saying it out loud had made it feel all the more real, a feeling she quickly tried to push away, instead wondering if Mitsuko would be willing to share something personal now that she had herself.

“Next question?” Noriko looked over at Mitsuko, her nodding to say she was ready. “You don’t have to answer if you don’t want to, but… who’s your favourite person in your family?”

Mitsuko sighed quietly, knowing she should have expected to be asked something like that after asking Noriko something personal. She thought of lying, telling her there was no one, or even let it slip that she didn’t even have a family, but the question kept repeating over and over in her head. It would still be rather easy to lie to Noriko, and herself for that matter, but she didn’t exactly want to this time. She gripped her own notebook tightly as she tried to figure out what would be the right thing to say.

“I don’t have one,” Mitsuko said, staring down at the floor. “I… I guess if I had to pick one, it’d be my dad.”

“You live with your dad, then?” Noriko asked her. She noticed Mitsuko seem to tense when she asked this, and she began to wonder if she was saying too much. Mitsuko never let anything slip about her past, Noriko doubting if even Hirono or Yoshimi knew anything. She knew it wasn’t her place to keep asking her about it though, and was about to apologise before she responded again.

“He’s dead,” Mitsuko simply said. “He died when I was six, on the front lawn. Heart attack, though he was young, healthy and perfectly fine – it makes no sense at all. I found him, and thought he was just playing a game at first. Then, I realised he wasn’t breathing and screamed until the neighbours came out to see what the hell was the matter with me.”

“I… I’m sorry,” Noriko said quietly. She would have said more, but she knew Mitsuko was definitely not one to appreciate pity. Before either one of them could say anything else, they heard the door creak open, Noriko’s mother stepping inside.

“It’s getting close to dinner, and it’s rather bleak outside,” Noriko’s mother began, a crash of thunder filling their ears, “so I was wondering if Mitsuko would like to say for dinner while we wait for the storm to pass? I was thinking I could get you both pizza.”

Mitsuko thought for a minute. Spending time with Noriko was nowhere near as painful as she thought it would have been, and there was free food involved, so why not? And walking home in the rain seemed rather miserable as well. After telling Noriko’s mother she’d be fine with anything, she left the room, leaving the two alone again.

“So, about that book you lent me,” Mitsuko said, wanting to deflect attention away from her past. Her father was a topic she had tried to avoid thinking about for years now, and now that she had mentioned it out loud, all the what ifs and memories were filling her head. “Do you have any others that are similar?”

Noriko had recognised the change of subject, but decided not to pursue it. If she had purposefully tried to end the conversation, it wasn’t her place to keep asking questions that would just upset her. It could even put them right back where they started, the last thing she wanted. Instead, she just gave her a small smile and got up, looking through her bookshelf. Since Mitsuko had shown an interest she was sure was real and was taking care of the book she had lent her, she was feeling a little more willing to let her have a look at her favourites.

“You might like this one,” Noriko said, carefully pulling a book off her shelf. It had been read over a dozen times in the past three years, but you wouldn’t have been able to tell whatsoever. Some argued that a book that looked well-read showed how well-loved it was, but Noriko was not a supporter. She liked to keep all her books in pristine condition, even more so her favourite ones.

Mitsuko nodded, and held a hand out for the book, quickly reminding herself to say a quiet thank you. As her fingertips first made contact with the book, she noticed Noriko move it back a little. The two of them both rather embarrassed, Mitsuko looked over at her, willing herself not to blush. It was just _not_ something that she did.

“It’s one of your favourites, isn’t it, Nakagawa?” Mitsuko said. “I can tell. You don’t have to let me borrow it if you don’t want to.”

“It… it’s okay…” Noriko said, reaching to brush a lock of hair behind her ear before realising there was nothing there. It was a habit when she was nervous, but now, she only felt sillier than she initially did. “I just.. haven’t really lent anyone a book before. Take it. I’m just being silly.”

“Whatever you say,” Mitsuko shrugged, gently taking the book from her hands. She placed it carefully in her bag just as the door opened again, Noriko’s mother coming in with the pizza. Shoving her bag into the corner, she gently took it and mumbled a thank you and as quickly as she came, Noriko’s mother was gone.

The two sat in silence as they ate, neither of them able to think of the right words to say. As she reached for her second last piece, Noriko took a look over at Mitsuko, and almost laughed when she saw the expression on her face before telling herself she should know better. Her smile was one of _those_ smiles – the type that Noriko no doubt knew could probably light up the whole town of Shiroiwa. It wasn’t just the pizza doing it – it was obvious the pizza, which wouldn’t be much to most other people, meant a lot to her.

She looked away and went back to her own pizza, but Mitsuko had caught her staring, and began to laugh. Again, Noriko realised how _nice_ her laugh was, the same with her smile – the smile that belonged to the real Mitsuko, she knew, instead of the one she put on all the time elsewhere. While she hadn’t spent much time at all with Mitsuko before, she knew she probably didn’t use her real smile all that much.

“What are you looking at?” Mitsuko asked, reaching to grab a napkin. Noriko started laughing too, despite pink filling her cheeks. She tried to figure out the right words to say, but she could find nothing better than what had first come to smile.

“Just… you’re smiling… and it’s really pretty,” Noriko said quietly, immediately feeling stupid afterwards. “I mean… you know.. it’s nice.”

“My smile is pretty,” Mitsuko laughed and shook her head. “That’s a new one.”

Noriko chuckled and got up, collecting the two pizza boxes from the floor. Mitsuko followed her down the hall, bag in tow, realising that this had probably been a mistake. She wasn’t supposed to get close to Noriko, or even like her. Hell, she wasn’t supposed to get close to anyone. That was when bad things happened. Noriko would never hurt anyone, she knew that, but the voice in the back of her mind was like a broken record. _It’s the most unlikely of people who hurt you in the end._

She should try and push her away, she knew that, but the thought of being nasty to Noriko now made her feel slightly ill. She could probably hold on until the assignment was over. There was only about a week, maybe, until it was done? Then, they’d never speak again, Mr. Hayashida’s stupid assignment would fail. What reason would they have to talk after it was over, anyway? Their lives were completely different.

“I should probably go now. It’s getting late,” Mitsuko said casually as they walked downstairs. Hopefully, once she was away from her, she could finally go back to feeling like her usual self again. She wasn’t coming over tomorrow, due to Noriko having something to do with her friends, and then it was the weekend, so she’d have until next Monday to get herself ready for the two to see each other again.

“Are you sure?” Noriko frowned. “It’s still pouring outside. You could wait here a little longer to see if the storm passes if you want. You shouldn’t have to walk home in the rain.”

“I’ll be fine,” Mitsuko shrugged. “It’s just some water.” She headed towards the door, waiting to be absolutely drenched, when she heard the jingling of keys behind her.

“No, no. You don’t have to walk home in the rain. It isn’t right,” Noriko’s mother said, going to the door. “I’ll drive you home. No buts. I want you to get there safely.”

When it became obvious that Noriko’s mother was not going to take no for an answer, Mitsuko reluctantly followed her, getting into the car with her and Noriko. She couldn’t fault someone for giving a damn, even though she thought she wasn’t worth it. She stared out the window as they went along, mumbling instructions to Noriko’s mother that would lead her to her home, grateful inside that she didn’t have to walk home in the awful weather. She had done it before, and would probably do it again, late at night, feeling empty inside as she dragged herself to a place she knew no one would be waiting for her or wondering if she was all right. It was just the way life worked for her, and she’d tried to make it work.

“Is this the place?” Noriko’s mother asked, bringing Mitsuko back to reality. She immediately noticed some sort of disappointment in her voice, as if she was expecting her to live somewhere better, but she tried to ignore it.

“Yeah, here’s the place,” Mitsuko said, opening the door as soon as the car stopped. She was about to shut the door and walk off , when something came to mind she probably wouldn’t have bothered remembering before. “Um… thank you for this. And the food.”

Noriko’s mother smiled at her, told her it was no problem, and waited to see that she got inside safely before she drove off. Mitsuko watched from the window until they had faded from view before shutting the ripped curtains, taking a seat down on the couch. She could see why Noriko’s mother was disappointed. Her place wasn’t exactly in the nicest part of town, dead flowers and overgrown grass by her front door, and one of the windows was smashed. She couldn’t remember who it had been now, whether Hirono had done it when she was drunk or on something, or if someone she had made trouble with had come by and done it on purpose. It didn’t matter now though, what mattered was getting it fixed.

How did you even fix a window? At the thought, it making her feel incredibly stupid, she started to laugh. It filled the silence just enough to stop her thinking about how much she missed Noriko’s house. It actually felt alive. It was a _home._

She wasn’t exactly sure what this was.

\---

Mitsuko didn’t usually do much during the day on Saturdays, especially when she was hungover. She could usually be found in bed, ignoring any texts or calls from Hirono or Yoshimi, until she finally felt well enough to drag herself out of bed and face the world again. She definitely didn’t go on a walk to the other side of town. As she approached Noriko’s street, she felt incredibly stupid, but it seemed even more dumb to go back home now.

Why had she even come here, of all places? Why didn’t she go and bother Hirono instead? She couldn’t answer those questions. She’d just gotten up, made herself look presentable, and just went, her legs making the decision for her. She had no explanation for showing up, and didn’t exactly know what she’d say once she got to the door. She hadn’t brought any of her school stuff with her, not that Noriko would believe for a minute that she wanted to work on the assignment, and she also wouldn’t believe that she wanted to spend time with her… so what should she do?

It was such a bad idea to come here. She had made a plan that she was going to stay away as much as possible, to stop herself from missing her, from wanting to be around her, for _caring_ even, for feeling anything at all towards her. She didn’t hate Noriko anymore. She didn’t even think she truly hated her in the first place. She didn’t exactly know what to think of her anymore. The easiest, though not the most accurate description for her feelings towards Noriko was just to say that she felt nothing towards her.

When she had almost reached Noriko’s house, she stopped. Now that she was just about there, she was really beginning to regret this. Unfortunately, before she could turn around and begin the walk home, she was spotted.

“Hey!” it was a child’s voice. Slowly, she turned around to see Yugo, Noriko’s little brother, in the middle of the street, on a small blue bicycle. “You’re Noriko’s friend. You’re always at our house, it seems. Do you want me to go get her?”

“No! – I-I mean, no, it’s okay-“ Mitsuko began, but Yugo didn’t seem to listen.

“NORIKO! Someone’s here to see you!” Yugo yelled out. Mitsuko looked down, her hair falling in her face, grateful it masked the redness filling her cheeks. She waited in shame for Noriko to come out, knowing it would raise a lot of awkward questions next time they saw one another if she just walked off.

“Mitsuko?” Noriko was confused to see her at her house on a day they hadn’t organised together, but decided against asking why she had come. “Come in.”

Seeing no point in making up an excuse for being in the area, her mind blank anyway, Mitsuko followed her inside. Her mother wasn’t there in the kitchen for once, which slightly relieved Mitsuko. Her mother was much more likely to ask questions that she really wasn’t in the mood for answering. Things felt a lot better once they got to Noriko’s room, Noriko completely silent as Mitsuko slumped down on her bed, her head pounding.

“Are you okay?” Noriko asked her, sitting beside her. Mitsuko just shrugged.

“Yeah, I’m fine. Hungover, but fine. This always happens,” Mitsuko said quietly. Noriko looked over at her for a minute and disappeared, coming back with a glass of water and some pills.

“Take these, it might help,” Noriko said, gently giving her the glass. Mitsuko didn’t touch the water or the pills, instead giving her a frown and setting them on the bedside table.

“You don’t have to look after me. I’m not a child,” Mitsuko said to her matter-of-factly. Noriko gave her a look that reminded her of the day she had made it obvious that she wasn’t going to back down about the assignment, a day that felt like it had taken place another lifetime ago now. She wasn’t going to take no for an answer this time either, it appeared.

“It’s just some pills. I’m just trying to help you,” Noriko said, her voice not as soft as usual. Mitsuko gave her a glare, Noriko responding with a look that seemed to describe what she was too afraid to say – _what’s the matter with you today?_ With a sigh, Mitsuko took the pills, and leaned back against the wall. It would be easier if Noriko didn’t want to help her, if she didn’t genuinely seem to care. It really would.

“Since I’m here, we may as well work on the assignment,” Mitsuko said, trying to immediately brush over the previous exchange. “I didn’t bring any of my stuff though.”

“That’s fine,” Noriko said, going over to grab the notebook she was using for the assignment. “I can just ask you some questions today, then. It’s probably for the best. It’s probably not that interesting, asking me questions.”

Mitsuko frowned, a moment she now wished she could take back coming to mind. It was a few months ago, in a near empty hallway, towards the end of the day. She’d had a bad day – she couldn’t exactly remember why now, but the memory had the distinct feeling of a bad day – and needed to take her anger out on someone. That had been when she spotted Noriko coming her way. _I don’t get why everyone thinks you’re so special, Nakagawa. You’re about as interesting as a cardboard box._

“I can think of a bunch of people who it would be much more boring doing this assignment with,” Mitsuko said, it as close to a compliment as she wanted to get. “Like Kyoichi Motobuchi and Satomi Noda – those nerds would probably ask me shit like ‘what’s your favourite type of  triangle?’ Mayumi Tendo, she is basically part of the classroom furniture with how little she makes herself noticeable, same with Fumiyo Fujiyoshi…”

Noriko laughed lightly, unable to help herself, despite the fact that she knew Fumiyo and Satomi  kind of well, and they really weren’t that uninteresting. She noticed Mitsuko was laughing too, giving her another glimpse of who she really _was_ , much different to that angry person that had come through the door and gotten drunk last night. She wished she could be herself or even just feel like herself more often, it obvious she felt so much better in moments like these, but it wasn’t something that came easily.

“Are you happy?” Noriko asked. The question was out of her mouth before she could stop herself.

“What does that have to do with you being boring?” Mitsuko laughed, it her attempt to brush off the question. She doubted it would work, though. Contrary to what she had thought only a few weeks ago, Noriko was not easy to knock down. She was quite strong-willed, even when Mitsuko really didn’t want her to be, but she did have to admire her for it.

“Are you happy?” Noriko asked again. She had that _look_ in her eyes that made Mitsuko know for sure she was not going to back down. Mitsuko had a strong-will too, and in her own way, she wasn’t going to back down either.

“Of course I am,” Mitsuko said, staring at the walls as she spoke, unable – or rather, not wanting to look her in the eye.

“I know that isn’t true,” Noriko said quietly, studying her. As she usually was when looking at Mitsuko, she was drawn to her eyes. Once filled with something that she just couldn’t decipher, they had become clearer through all the time they had spent together, her now able to see her almost perfectly. “I know I should take your word, as you should know yourself better than I do, but you’re lying – not to me, no, that doesn’t matter as much as it does that you’re lying to yourself. You aren’t happy. You can go and get drunk and terrorise people and hang around with your gang and do whatever you please, but while you do, you won’t be happy. You won’t be until you accept yourself, try to be yourself, even if it hurts. I promise. I can see it. You don’t have to lie.”

Mitsuko finally willed herself to look at her, knowing deep down, where she tried to bury everything she felt like she just couldn’t carry, never to be unearthed again if she could help it, that it was all true. It didn’t make it any easier though. Noriko’s words floated around in her mind over and over, her wondering how she could be so good with them, wondering what it was like to be her even.

What would it _really_ be like to be Noriko Nakagawa, the girl who seemed to see something in everyone, something good, something true, someone who tried to judge someone based on her own opinion rather than a preconceived one? What would it be like to be almost so _inherently_ good? Most of all… what would it be like to grow up like Noriko did? Would she have ended up similar to she did, or a little different, but in a much better place than she was at the moment?

Of course, Noriko’s life was not a perfect one, and Noriko herself wasn’t perfect either, but it was thousands of times better than Mitsuko’s life was. If the opportunity somehow arose, Mitsuko would step in her shoes in a heartbeat, not that she would admit that out loud.

“I… I’m sorry,” Noriko stuttered after several minutes of silence.

It was only when Noriko placed a hand on her shoulder that Mitsuko realised she was actually crying.

\---

Mitsuko went home later than she usually did, only prompted to leave after Noriko’s mother suggested she stay for dinner. It was her sign to go, today already being personal enough. She and Noriko had put the assignment away after her tears – something she was already trying to forget about – had started, and instead had hung out together like normal teenagers. Noriko was actually quite fun to be around. She never ran out of ideas and she managed to make her laugh more in one afternoon than she could ever remember laughing in her life. A part of her even wanted to do it again, but they were falling behind on the assignment and needed to catch up fast, having the whole essay left as well as a few questions.

They’d lose their chance to hang out again normally after that. There was no way this would last after the assignment was over. Sure, they had made some sort of connection, but without an actual reason to stop and talk to each other, would they really bother actually keeping up with each other? They might wave to each other in the hallway or shoot a glance in each other’s direction, but they’d probably split apart easily.

Just because they’d stop talking after this didn’t mean that she would forget this, though. Noriko’s words from the afternoon had stuck with her, continuing to replay over and over in her mind, and she figured it wouldn’t be going away anytime soon. She had been right, just speaking the truth she had been so scared of facing. It was easier to just tell herself that while it wasn’t the ideal life to live, she could be happy all the same if she tried. She wanted more than this… but how could she start to make a change? It felt impossible.

The sound of something crumpling broke the silence, and on instinct, she turned around to see if someone was there. She was still alone, the sound attributed to a piece of paper. The heading on the page, written in larger writing than the rest of the information and in bold, caught her eye, and she reached down to pick it up.

It was a support group. Even a few weeks ago, she would have scoffed, crumpled it up and not given it a second thought – seriously, sharing your feelings? It all seemed so weak – but now she was giving it a second thought. When she tried to recall a moment, she could think of no time, especially not recently, where she had done even the tiniest thing to help herself. This was a much bigger first step than she would expect to take, but she decided to keep the sheet with her for now, just in case.

Maybe it was a sign that things could be better.

\---

“Are you sure you don’t want to stay for dinner, Mitsuko?” Noriko’s mother asked her, following her to the front door. “There’s a lot left, it wouldn’t be any problem.”

“No thank you,” Mitsuko said, forcing herself to smile while inside, she was furious. The only reason why there was an extra portion for her was because according to Noriko, her dad was meant to be coming home tonight. He had bailed at the last minute, and Yugo especially had been absolutely shattered. She wished he could just realise how _good_ his family was and how awful he was being, but she knew most likely that one day, it would end up in a complete mess when Noriko’s mother finally found out what was going on.

“Are you coming by tomorrow?” Noriko asked. It was obvious she was barely keeping her tone steady and calm, almost ready to fall apart. She was only keeping it together for the sake of Yugo especially, which Mitsuko greatly admired. She’d do absolutely anything to make sure everything was okay for her brother.

“Of course,” Mitsuko nodded. A part of her wanted to stay for dinner, just to offer Noriko some silent support if she was able to do so, but she knew she had to go. She had something to do tonight, and if she didn’t do it, she knew she probably wouldn’t be able to make herself do it at all.

The two said goodbye to each other, and after the front door shut, Mitsuko left. As she walked she fished around in her bag for the piece of paper she had picked up five or so days ago, reading it over and over to make sure she was going the right way. It seemed legitimate. The group was situated not too far from Noriko’s house, still in the good part of town, making her feel slightly better. Still, inside, she was terrified.

She had never tried doing this before. It had just always been easier to try and deny anything had ever happened, even though she still saw everything that had happened that day over and over whenever she closed her eyes. It plagued her nightmares almost every day like clockwork. She knew they were going to come, but until she died, she tried her hardest to forget.

 _You can do this,_ she told herself as she stood outside the door, her hands shaking as she debated reaching for the handle. _You can do this. It’s going to be okay. You don’t even have to say anything if you don’t want to. They can’t make you._

Hands still shaking, she opened the door and took a few small steps inside, flinching as the door slammed shut behind her, immediately drawing attention to herself. She realised quickly that out of the small group of the women, she was definitely the youngest, and she could already also tell that they all seemed to know each other rather well. Maybe this had been a mistake… but it seemed too late to just turn around and go.

“Am I late?” Mitsuko asked quietly. One woman, who she presumed as the one who organised this, stood up and greeted her with a faint smile.

“Not at all,” the woman nodded, motioning to an empty seat that Mitsuko took. “You don’t have to say anything if you don’t want to – only if you want to. It’s only your first time here.”

Mitsuko nodded. She stayed quiet, taking in her surroundings and the words of the other women. She wasn’t ready to speak yet, and didn’t think she would be for a while, but this was enough for now. It was all about taking the first step. She never would have done anything like this months ago.

\---

Mitsuko and Noriko got together to work on the assignment for the final time on the day before it was due – a Sunday. They had been working on their essays for about three days now and we’re almost finished polishing them up for presentation, both of them rather proud of their efforts. Both of them had refused to let the other read their essay until they heard it aloud tomorrow. It had been a condition Mr. Hayashida had given when explaining the assignment, but they were really more thinking of surprising the other with their words.

The only sound in the room was the crinkling of paper and the faint sound of a pen as the two worked. When Noriko’s mother had come up to see them, she had asked if the two had ended up having a falling out, but they’d laughed it off and just said they’d been working hard. It had been the first time in what felt like forever that Mitsuko had actually _tried_ with her schoolwork, and it actually felt kind of good. She wasn’t good with words, but she wanted to give it a shot. Just for Noriko.

Noriko. The sound of her name, even inside her own head, made her fill with happiness she had never felt when thinking of a person before. It was impossible to ignore, a feeling that was both amazing, yet terrifying. What was it supposed to mean?

Trying to push the feelings away, she suddenly broke the silence. She’d wanted to tell Noriko about it since the night it had happened, but hadn’t been able to will the words to come out of her mouth until now. She finally felt ready.

“I started going to this… support group thing two times a week,” Mitsuko mumbled, shrugging slightly. “I know it isn’t much… but I guess I just wanted to tell you.”

“Of course that’s something!” Noriko smiled over at her, it the type of smile that made her feel like the most important person in the world. “I’m so proud of you.”

Mitsuko smiled back at her, Noriko reaching out to give her a hug. Immediately, the smile faded from her face and she flinched, moving away slightly. When Noriko’s face fell, replaced with a look of both confusion and hurt, she felt bad, but she couldn’t help the reaction. Hopefully she’d understand.

“Sorry…” she looked down at the floor. “I… I just don’t like people touching me. Not without asking.”

“It’s okay. I understand,” Noriko gave her a small smile and went back to her essay. Carefully, she read over her words, wanting it to be perfect. She hoped it would be. For Mitsuko, she was finding that she wanted to give her absolutely everything.

\---

Just like how the partners had been picked, Mr. Hayashida also picked the presentation order randomly. Mitsuko and Noriko were picked to go third, a fact the two weren’t all that thrilled about, but figured they could make work. Noriko had decided to go first, something that Mitsuko was rather grateful, and now all they had to do was wait. Currently, the second pair, Yutaka Seto and Kaori Minami, were presenting. Apparently, during the course of the assignment, Yutaka had become quite the fan of Kaori’s absolute favourite band, Flip/Side. Everyone was rather confused by this fact, but kept quiet during their presentation.

When Yutaka had finished speaking, Noriko politely applauded him, as the majority of the rest of the class did. After Mr. Hayashida called out her name, she got up slowly, almost tripping once as she got up to the front. She blushed at the sound of laughter and with shaking hands, unfolded the papers that made up her completed essay. She had always been nervous when presenting to the class, but never like this. This felt different.

“Um… so… my partner for the assignment was Mitsuko Souma. Doing the assignment together was quite an interesting experience. We… we actually learnt quite a lot from each other,” Noriko began, looking over at the class for a moment. Dread filled her when everyone seemed to look extremely bored, but she felt a little better once she saw Mitsuko shoot her a small smile.

“Go on,” Mitsuko mouthed at her. Noriko nodded and looked down at the sheet again.

“During the time we worked on this assignment together, I feel as if I’ve gotten a glimpse at who the real Mitsuko is. I wouldn’t say I’ve gotten to know her yet – maybe just acquaintances – it’s a work in progress. I don’t think any of us have really seen much of the real Mitsuko. I don’t even think Mitsuko herself has seen much of her, which is quite a shame. The real Mitsuko is so much different to the person we see every day. She has such a nice laugh – the type you want to hear all the time, and her smile could rival the sun. It’s so _real_. And she’s strong… unbelievably so. Stronger than you and I will ever fully know…”

As Noriko went on, Mitsuko could see the class’s attention starting to stay with her. She sunk down slightly lower in chair as she continued to talk about her, not exactly sure what she was feeling. She wasn’t exactly embarrassed, it felt like the completely wrong description, but at the same time, she felt like she wanted to be anywhere but here. She didn’t deserve to sit in this classroom, listening to Noriko tell everyone how fond of her she was.

It just felt… so wrong.

When it was over, some of the class applauding Noriko’s presentation, it truly hit her that she had to go up and present. When Mr. Hayashida called her name, she completely froze. She finally realised what the problem was – _oh god, if I go up there, I’m going to fucking cry. That can’t happen._

“I’m not doing it,” Mitsuko said firmly. Noriko looked at her, disappointment in her eyes. She hoped she would be able to understand later. She seemed to understand about everything else, so why not this?

“Come on, Souma,” Mr. Hayashida said, a shaky smile on her face. It was so painfully obvious that he was terrified of her. “I’m sure that your essay is good, and worth sharing with us.”

“I’m not doing it, okay?” Mitsuko snapped. She got up, crumpled her piece of paper into a ball, and promptly left the room. Mr. Hayashida could only watch as she left, knowing that it was useless to think she’d come back and present. He decided to move down the list and announce for the next pairing to come up, Mizuho Inada and Hiroshi Kuronaga, Noriko raising her hand before he could call them up.

“Can… can I go see where she went?” Noriko asked shakily. When the teacher nodded, she got up, grabbed Mitsuko’s essay off the table, and left the room. As she walked down the hallway, she began to read, hoping Mitsuko wouldn’t be angry with her. She had promised yesterday when they were working on the essays that she’d be able to read it.

_Is it obvious that I don’t know what I’m doing? I’ve never actually written an essay before. Yeah, that sounds pretty bad I know, since I probably should have written like a ton of them by now, but I guess better late than never, right? Not that it matters, I guess. There’s no way in hell I’m reading this to the class. Nice joke, Mr. Hayashida. I’m not falling for it._

_By now Noriko, you know that I’m brutally honest in all the wrong areas, so there’s no point in holding anything back. When I first found out that it was you I was expected to work with, I was pissed. At the time, I thought I hated you, but now, I don’t think I actually thought that strongly. I couldn’t have changed my opinion so fast about you if I did actually hate you, but we’ll get to that later. Where were we? Oh, yeah, at the start of the assignment. I thought you were boring as hell and so sweet that being alone in the same room with you for more than five minutes would make me want to be sick. More than anything, I thought you’d be a doormat, that I’d be able to get away with doing absolutely nothing._

_It would be the understatement of the year to say that I was wrong, wouldn’t it?_

Noriko laughed quietly to herself as she read through the essay, but by the end, it she was close to tears. Mitsuko’s words were so genuine, just so _her,_ and surprisingly, quite lovely in their own way. It was another glimpse at the real Mitsuko, just as she had mentioned in her own way. She couldn’t stop the biggest smile from emerging on her face, and more than anything, she wanted to thank her. First, she’d have to find her first.

“Hey. I finally found you.”

Noriko smiled over at Mitsuko when she finally figured out where she was, leaned against the wall beside a drinking fountain, it appearing she just wanted some time alone for a while. She returned the smile and went to stand beside her, immediately launching into a thank you about the essay.

“Hey, it’s fine,” Mitsuko shrugged. “I should be thanking you. Because of you, I actually put in some effort for once. I did figure out one thing though that we missed when I was writing it, though…”

“What was that?” Noriko frowned, thinking back. She thought she had kept track of everything, categorized it perfectly, but there was always room for error in everything.

“We missed one question,” Mitsuko laughed.

“Oh,” Noriko tried to think back, but all the questions seemed like a haze now. They definitely could have missed one. “I know that the assignment is over, but you can still ask me something if you want.”

“No, it’s okay,” Mitsuko shook her head. “I want you to ask.”

Noriko nodded at her, and thought for a minute. The perfect question came to mind, and immediately, she began to smile like an absolute idiot. She shouldn’t ask. Mitsuko would just laugh at her, maybe even get angry. It could even ruin everything… but the words left her lips anyway.

“Can I kiss you?”

Mitsuko just stared at her for a moment, completely thrown off by the question. She wanted this, though, and she willed herself to actually _do something._ When she finally nodded, Noriko moved closer, lightly wrapped her arms around her when Mitsuko made it clear that it was okay, and kissed her.

As they pulled away from each other, Mitsuko thought of one thing that made it mean more to her – _she was the first person to ever actually ask._


End file.
